


Thousand

by ericaismeg



Series: 30 Days of Writing [27]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 30 Days of Sterek, 30 Days of Writing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkward Dates, Declarations Of Love, Derek Has Issues, Erica Reyes & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Mama's Bakery, Mentioned Jennifer Blake, Mentioned Kate Argent, Mentioned Paige, Moving In Together, Oblivious Derek, Pining Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ericaismeg/pseuds/ericaismeg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Seriously, Erica, I could tell him a thousand times in a thousand ways and he's never going to understand what I mean.”</p><p>“I thought I told you to spell it out to him,” Erica says. “Derek's has trust issues. I told you this would be difficult.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thousand

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm almost done this[ writing challenge. ](http://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/84097258077/felicitygs-spontaneousfangasm)
> 
> Day Twenty Seven.
> 
> THREE. DAYS. LEFT.
> 
> I'm not prepared.
> 
> Word of the day: thousand. WHY AM I STILL WRITING THIS? YOU GUYS GOT THIS SHIT DOWN BY NOW. 
> 
> (Shout out to [Another Erica](http://sayitthroughsong.tumblr.com) for making me extremely happy today! I adore you and your freaking gift to me! I have to write you something again, or something. <3)

 

            “I don't get it,” Stiles whines, letting his forehead bang against the counter top. He doesn't care that it stings a little. His brain is going to explode with frustration. And whose fault will it be? Derek Hale's—who else. Stiles lifts his head slightly and drops it again. “I don't get it, I don't _get it_.”

            “Rough day with Hale again?” Erica Reyes asks, sounding more sympathetic than Stiles is used to. Then again, she'd been the one to tell him to just _go for it_ and be honest with Derek. It had failed, miserably, again.

            Stiles lifts his head to look at Erica. She's wiping down the counter, and her look is more pity than sympathy. It makes him feel a little more pathetic. “Give me two slices of cheesecake, please.”

            “New York or chocolate?” she asks as she turns around to go to the fridge.

            “One of each,” Stiles grumbles. He rubs his forehead. “Seriously, Erica, I could tell him a thousand times in a thousand ways and he's never going to understand what I mean.”

            “I thought I told you to spell it out to him,” Erica says, as she sets two different cheesecakes on the counter. She puts a slice of each onto one plate, and then sticks another piece of the New York on a second plate. “Derek's has trust issues. I told you this would be difficult.”

            “I know,” Stiles grumbles. His expression is pure annoyance, even when Erica sets the plate in front of him. “But I didn't know that he would have _crazy_ trust issues. I told him that I love him in a tight black shirt, and I'd love to take it off him. Do you know what he said?”

            Erica puts the cakes back into the fridge, and doesn't answer until she's pulling her stool up in front of Stiles on her side of the counter. “What did he say?”

            “He said, ' _You're a goof, Stiles_ '. I'm a fucking goof. I tell the guy that I want to rip his shirt off and I'm a _goof_. Erica, what is wrong with him?” Stiles whines. He stabs his cheesecake and barely takes a moment to savour it. He catches himself though, because one should always savour _Mama's Bakery_ 's desserts. He shrugs his shoulders.

            Erica sighs, as if she'd been dreading this conversation. “Alright, fine, you've tried to tell him how you feel. I'm starting to realize that you might be more serious about Derek than I realized.”

            Stiles' mouth drops open and his head jerks forward in disbelief. “ _Starting to realize_? I have been in here every Monday, Wednesday, _and_ Friday whining about how Derek Hale won't flirt with me for _six months_. But oh, no, now I'm serious?”

            He watches as her expression hardens a little, and Stiles groans. He knows it's completely unfair to one of his few friends that he can talk to about Derek. Stiles had come into _Mama's Bakery_ one day five months and three weeks ago with the sole purpose of demanding advice from Erica about her best friend. Derek Hale is a stubborn ass, and Erica had warned him that he could never, ever hurt Derek.

            Stiles doesn't want to hurt Derek. He wants to kiss Derek, to hold his hands, to watch crappy movies with him, to make him laugh, and to whisper secrets late into the night. Stiles has wanted this for quite some time, and then, as fate would have it, their dorm rooms in residence are right beside each other.

            He'd known Derek in high school, had watched him, and had always been highly curious about the guy. Then Derek had recognized him one day in the hallway. Stiles had invited him over for some popcorn and a terrible film that he and Scott would insult while watching. He hadn't expected Derek to say yes.

            And that night, fuck that night had been great. Derek had been quick with the insults (“ _It's because of my sisters_ ”, he said), he had thrown popcorn into Stiles' mouth, cheering him on whenever he managed to catch a piece (only twice, but goddamn had Derek cheered loud).

            They'd become the friends that Stiles had always wanted to be in high school, when Derek had been the unattainable senior and Stiles had been the awkward, clumsy junior.

            Stiles had stormed into _Mama's Bakery_ and demanded that Erica tell him all about how to win over Derek Hale. She had frowned, told him to buy something, and every time he'd come back, she'd give him one piece of advice.

            Three times a week (he'd heard a lot of the same advice) for six months, Stiles would come in. He'd complain about how Derek is so fucking cute he wants to cry, or how Derek did this really stupid (but so amusing, and oh my god why does he always have to look so damn hot?) thing that made Stiles' day. Erica had listened to every word, had asked him about his year in grade twelve.

            It's no secret that Stiles had suddenly blossomed into this stud (okay, not really). It had been more rumour than truth, but everyone had claimed to have slept with Stiles after Lydia had used him to make Jackson jealous. Stiles had gotten some action out of the whole ordeal, but that had been both boring and not with Derek Hale.

            When Derek had ended up being his and Scott's dorm room neighbours, Stiles had known that the fates had brought them together again. _Except not, because it shouldn't be this fucking hard._

            “You weren't here for Derek's first year,” Erica tells him, gently. She frowns at her cheesecake, and then meets his eyes. She's fully serious now. “He met Paige when she yelled at him for being too loud. She'd been in the room across from his. She was good for Derek. He chased her, she chased him, and they'd been together for about a month when...”

            Stiles doesn't realize he stopped breathing until he asks, “When?”

            Then he hiccups and reminds himself to inhale and exhale. He'd been waiting for this moment, when Erica tells him exactly why Derek had gone from his loud, happy-go-lucky popular self to this quiet, but still fun, shell of himself. He leans forward, and watches her carefully.

            “When,” Erica continues, “she was killed by a drunk driver. It killed him. He hadn't known her long enough to be in love, but he'd thought he could have been. He hadn't known her well enough to truly mourn her loss—”

            “That doesn't matter,” Stiles interrupts. “It doesn't matter how long you've known someone. You can love someone fairly quickly.”

            Erica sighs. “ _I_ know that, but Derek doesn't. He doesn't think he knew her long enough to be able to deserve to say that he loved her. But he mourns her like he did.”

            “So that's why,” Stiles murmurs, nodding as he processes the information.

            “No,” Erica tells him. His eyes snap upward to meet hers. She presses her lips together in an _I hate to continue this story_ way. Stiles wants to be a good person and tell her that she doesn't have to tell him, but he's desperate to understand Derek. “After two months from Paige's death, a woman named Jennifer got involved with Derek. She lied, manipulated him, cheated on him, and basically made him feel like shit. But he thought he was happy, and he ignored any warnings.”

            “And then?” Stiles asks, rubbing his collarbone. His chest is starting to hurt.

            “And then she tried to get him kicked out of school for plagiarizing.” Erica rolls her eyes. “Apparently, she was mad because Derek was hanging out with me.”

            “ _What_? How did _she_ have any right?” Stiles demands, angry on Derek's behalf. He doesn't want to ever meet Jennifer, because he might strangle her. Stiles isn't normally a violent guy, but _fuck_.

           Erica shrugs. “She was crazy or something. Then Kate...Professor Kate Argent saved Derek's ass.”

            “Why do I get the feeling I don't like Kate?” Stiles asks, stabbing his fork into the cheesecake again. He's not sure he wants to hear the rest of the story but he knows that he has to. He wants to understand Derek.

            It's taken him six months to get _anything_ out of Erica. She's nothing if not loyal. Stiles can't give up this opportunity though, because it might not happen again. Erica gives him a pained smile. “You're catching on. So Derek started to look up to Kate. She's eleven years older than us—well, twelve years for you—and she started inviting him to her office.”

            “No,” Stiles whispers.

            “Yeah. It was awful. It was an absolute disaster, just one after the other. It lasted for three months, before one of the other professors caught on. Kate was fired, and Derek was sent to a therapist. He still sees Deaton on Thursdays. Stiles, I'm not telling you the full story. But that all happened within seven months. I don't want Derek hurt again,” Erica tells him. She takes another bite of her cheesecake. When she swallows, she adds, “Do you understand?”

            Stiles nods. “Wow, I had no idea...that must have been rough.”

            “And he likes you, Stiles,” Erica points her fork at him. “You should see the way he lights up when he talks about you. I haven't seen that in a while.”

            “But he's never going to believe that I'm not here to fuck him over,” Stiles says. He finishes up his New York slice of cheesecake. “He's never going to know that I'm serious. I've had a crush on him since high school. Even when he was in college and I was finishing grade twelve, I still _thought_ of him. I wondered how he was. I just assumed he was okay. I didn't...”

            “Know, you didn't know. Now you do, so what are you going to do about it?” Erica asks.

            He knows what she wants to know. She wants to know if he's in it for the long haul, or if he's just had a silly crush on Derek. Knowing the pain that Derek's had to deal with in such a short period of time, Stiles considers his feelings.

            Derek makes him laugh, he makes him feel giddy, and content. Scott had once asked him a few months ago if Derek is the kind of guy that Stiles would introduce to his father—that's how they'd always assessed Stiles' crushes. Stiles hadn't said anything, but he'd nodded. He would bring Derek home and he would be _proud_.

            It scares Stiles a little. In his last year of high school, he'd dated around. He hadn't settled, had never felt the need to introduce anyone to his dad. But as Stiles meets Erica's serious eyes, he knows. He'd just been killing time until he could potentially run into Derek again.

            “I'm going to keep telling him,” Stiles says, with a quiet determination.

            Erica's lips stretch into a bright smile. She licks her fork seductively (but that's just how Erica does _everything_ ) and then says, “I knew it. I knew you'd be good for Derek. Don't give up, Stiles. He's worth the wait.”

            Stiles thinks about the way that Derek had comforted him on one particularly bad day. He'd gone down to the corner store, bought some ice cream, and had picked out _Mean Girls_ from Stiles' DVD collection. Derek had told Stiles a few weeks before that he wouldn't watch _Mean Girls_ , but there he was. Stiles had glanced at him and had known.

            “He is,” he agrees. He finishes up the chocolate slice. “He's worth everything.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

            “You're moving?” Stiles asks, stretching out on his bed with a frown on his face. Derek gives him a confused look.

            “Uh, yes?” Derek waves a hand in the air to say _duh_.

            “Oh, I'm going to miss you being beside us, that's all.” Stiles hopes that Derek can't hear the complete and utter disappointment in his voice. It's not fair. He's gotten used to being near Derek, to knowing that he could be jerking off on the other side of the wall (he's a perv and he accepts it). He _likes_ that Derek's close enough to bug, especially on nights when Scott's out with Kira.

            Stiles shifts on his bed, and tries not to acknowledge that he is currently at the perfect level to stare at Derek's crotch. Derek can sit on his chair with his legs spread any day, _all the days_. Derek distracts him when he says, “I wanted to talk to you about that.”

            “Yeah?”

            “What if you and Scott didn't stay in residence next year?” Derek asks. Stiles moves his head around to say _and_? “What if we moved in together?”

            Stiles' body jerks up, and he tosses his legs over the side of his bed. “Really? You'd want to live with us?”

            “Yeah, and maybe we could have Boyd move in with us?” Derek suggests. “You like Boyd.”

            Stiles grins. “Dude, that would be fucking great and _way_ cheaper. And like, I could see you every day.”

            “You'd be okay with that?” Derek asks, sounding more nervous than usual.

            He snorts. “ _Duh_. I really like being around you, Derek.”

            “You do?”

            “I do,” Stiles tells him, nodding. He gives Derek his best casual smile, but it comes out as a loopy grin instead. He jumps off his bed and starts to pace. “Oh man, this is great. I can save a shit ton of money—especially if there's four of us—and use it on better things!”

            Derek lets out a laugh. “Like what, Stiles?”

            He notices that Derek seems more relaxed now that Stiles is excited. It makes him more excited. “Like taking you out for dinners and a movie.”

            Stiles watches Derek carefully to see his reaction. “Oh, that'd be nice.”

            _Swing and a miss_ , Stiles thinks. He knows that it's not going to be a fast, sudden change. So he'll accept it. He adds, “I could take you out bowling! I heard you bragging about your skills to Scott, so it'd be fun to test your story. The zoo! Oh man, can we go to the zoo next fall? I hear they're going to be opening new wolf and fox exhibits!”

            Derek nods, giving Stiles a bright grin. God, can he just stare at him like that _all day please_? “That sounds great, Stiles. But I don't think you should spend your extra money on me.”

            Stiles raises an eyebrow. “You're worth it, dude.”

            “Oh,” Derek says in a tone that breaks Stiles' heart.  He doesn't believe it, he's too scared to believe it. “Maybe we could go to the arcade in Beacon Hills sometime this summer too?”

            It's the first time that Derek's asked Stiles to do anything before—usually it's Stiles asking Derek. He nods, excited. “I would _love_ that.”

            “Okay, cool,” Derek says.

            Stiles walks pass Derek to grab his calendar (he admits, he used it for a whole week, but maybe with the right motivation, he could get his money's worth). “Let's pick some dates right now, and just do _something_ together that day. No cancellations, nothing. Just some fun.”

            “You don't have the extra cash now,” Derek points out.

            “I'm sure Scott can feed me for a few weeks,” Stiles replies. He sits down on the edge of Scott's bed because it's closer to Derek. “What do you say?”

            Derek studies him for a moment. So quiet that Stiles almost asks Derek to repeat it again, he says, “I say yes.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

           On their third non-date-that-really-should-have-been-a-date, Stiles bumps his arm against Derek's. It's the smallest contact, but it makes Stiles grin a little wider. “You're nuts, you know that right?”

            “My sisters would agree with you. I'm sorry that I put my milk into my bowl of cereal first,” Derek answers, but he's grinning back.

            “Whatever dude, I'll still love you through all your stupidity,” Stiles tells him with a hard nod.

            Derek laughs harder than Stiles had expected. “Thanks, Stiles. Glad to know that I'll still have someone to love me at the end of the day.”

            Stiles glances at Derek and sighs. The guy would never get that he's serious. It doesn't matter for tonight, because Stiles wants to be around Derek for a few more hours without thinking about his frustration. He snorts and then says, “You're _lucky_ I'm such a great fucking guy.”

            “Yeah, I am,” Derek tells him bumping his arm against Stiles'. “You’re my best friend, Stiles.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

            “Does Derek have any idea that we're going on dates?” Stiles asks a few months later when he walks into _Mama's Bakery_. Erica looks up from behind the counter. She puts her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ away and then shrugs.

            “I doubt it. He talks about you a lot though. He's having fun and he seems...happy.”

            “Don't say it like it's a good thing or anything,” Stiles mutters. He exhales deeply and then adds, “We went to the zoo yesterday. It would've been our _ninth_ date.”

            “I heard,” Erica says, her lips curling upwards. “Guess who called me at eleven-thirty to tell me about the great day he'd had?”

            “Since it wasn't me, can you mean the love of my life?” Stiles asks her. He sits down in his usual stool at the counter.

            Erica's eyebrow goes up. “The _love of your life_?”

            Stiles shrugs. “He's meeting my dad in a few weeks when school's done and we're heading home for the summer.”

            “And that's big?”

            “You remember my father's the _Sheriff_ right? It's huge,” Stiles says. But he's trying to act like it's not. “Listen, Erica, I think that I could take Derek out on a thousand dates and he would still have no idea that that's what we're doing. I'm starting to feel...conflicted.”

            “No, Stiles, please—”

            “I told him that my life would be shit without him yesterday,” Stiles mutters. He massages the bridge of his nose. “He said, _'I know the feeling. You're one of my closest friends_.' He wants to be friends. He doesn't see me as anything else. You know who's going to get hurt? It's going to be _me_.”

           Erica leans forward to cover his hand with hers. “Stiles, please, don't give up on him. He's worth it.”

            “We both keep saying that,” Stiles tells her. “But aren't I worth a little risk?”

            “You are—” Erica sighs. “Goddammit, you were supposed to be some stupid boy with a stupid crush on Derek Hale. But I care about you, dammit. And I don't want you to get hurt. So if you think that it's too hard, you have my blessing to give up on Derek.”

            Stiles frowns. “I don't know, Reyes. Get me a milkshake and let's see how I feel afterwards.”

            Erica laughs softly and nods. “You're lucky I suggested we serve milkshakes, just for you.”

            “I love you,” Stiles says, grinning. “I can't believe your bosses _went for it_.”

            “This place has been gaining popularity because of it,” Erica tells him.

            “All thanks to me.”

            “And me,” Erica points out. But she turns to start working on his milkshake.

            “I don't want to hurt Derek,” Stiles tells her softly.

            “Me neither,” Erica replies. “But you're right. You're worth fighting for and you deserve someone who will fight for you too.”

            “A thousand times, Erica. I've told him how I feel a thousand times in a thousand different ways,” Stiles mutters.

            She sets a milkshake in front of him. “Drink up. It's going to be a long few weeks.”

            “Don't remind me.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

            “I have no idea what you're talking about,” Stiles says as he puts another book into his cardboard box. He probably should've used a plastic storage bin for his books, but he's too lazy to reorganize to free one up. He glances over his shoulder to see Derek frowning.

           “Stiles, Scott told me that you found a guy named Isaac to replace you in our _five-bedroom_ house.”

            “Oh,” Stiles says. He can't really argue with that. He straightens and says, “I did. I know we were struggling to find a fifth person—”

            “So you _found_ someone,” Derek says, “and then give them _your_ room. Why?”

            “It's just...it's too hard, Derek.” Stiles grabs another book from his shelf. Into the box they go. God, it's just so much easier to focus on this instead.

            “Talk to me,” Derek says, almost as though he's pleading. “I thought we were doing great.”

            “We _were_ ,” Stiles answers. He grabs three more books.

            “Stiles, stop packing and talk to me!” Derek demands.

            It's enough to make Stiles freeze. Then he tosses his books onto his bed in frustration. “Fuck you! Fuck _you_ for demanding _me_ to talk to you. I _have_ been talking to you. I've laid it out on the line before and not once do you acknowledge it. Are you worried that your little Stiles is going too move on from you? Because you should be!”

            “Move...on from me?” Derek's expression is full confusion. It frustrates Stiles to no end.

            “What?”

            “You said that you were going to move on from me. When were you... _on_ me?” Derek asks, his voice is soft now. It's frail and Stiles realizes just how much fear Derek's in right now.

            It deflates him, knowing that Derek is currently reliving every awful moment of losing someone he cares about. Stiles had thought that giving up his room and moving in with Jackson (oh god, he really didn't want to do that) was a smart move. He could get some space from Derek.

            As he looks at him right now though, Stiles knows space is the last thing he wants. He wants to wrap Derek up in a cozy blanket and soothe away all his silent fears.

            “Derek, I've been crazy about you for almost a year now.” Stiles frowns. “Longer—I had the biggest crush on you in high school.”

            “On _me_?” Derek asks, as though it's a foreign concept.

           “On you,” Stiles repeats. He's panicking and rushing forward. “I might be a little bit in love with you. These hangouts, that could've been dates if you'd ever given me any indication that that's what you wanted, have been _wonderful_. I just... I can't do it anymore. I need some space, some time to get over you, because...because being your friend is too hard right now.”

            “But, wait, okay. No. I need to—you thought they were dates?” Derek asks.

            “Yes, _of course_. How many guys ask other guys to go to the _zoo_ with him?” Stiles asks.

            “Scott asked you last week,” Derek points out.

            Stiles blinks. Then he can't help but let out a small laugh. “But that's _Scott_. I don't want to hold Scott's hand or kiss him in the morning or...”

            “Do you want those things with me?” Derek asks.

            He debates his options. On one hand, he could lie and just leave and never have to deal with Derek's (beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, dangerous, wonderful) face again. On the other, he could just throw it all out there and let the pieces fall where they may. Stiles is more curious for the latter. “Yeah, I do. I want to date you. I want to be there for you. I don't want you to fear me, fear love, again.”

            “How do...Erica.”

            “She held out for six months. Don't blame her. I'm fairly persistent when something's important to me,” Stiles tells him gently.

            Derek nods slowly, as if to process the information. Then he quietly says, “Stiles, do you think...do you think we could start over?”

            “No,” Stiles tells him. He moves towards Derek though, hope making his chest tighter than ever. “I think that I want to be with you through the good and the bad and the awkward. I don't want to be a sometimes friend, a sometimes crush, a sometimes thing.”

            “And is this the bad?”

            “You tell me.”

            Derek strokes the back of his neck with his hand before he says, “No. Stiles, I can't promise that I'm ready to move on. It's only been a year since everything has ended. But I can promise you that I want to try.”

            “Oh yeah?” Stiles asks, lips quirking upwards. “You think you're ready for that?”

            “I want to be.”

            Stiles reaches forward, and slips his fingers in between Derek's. “Is this okay?”

            Derek's eyes widen and then he nods. “I don't want you to move out of the apartment before we move in.”

            “Okay,” Stiles tells him. “I think we've found our fifth dude then.”

            Derek gives him a grin and squeezes his hand. “Good.”

 

♚♞♚♞♚♞

 

            “Tell me again?”

            “Again, _really,_ Stiles?”

            “Please?”

            “Okay, fine. I love you. I'm _in_ love with you. I will always love you.”

            “Okay, that's 895 times.”

            “ _Stiles_.”

            “It's not my fault you have a year to make up for. Tell me again.”

            “I love you.”

           “With more meaning this time, Derek.” Stiles yelps like a dog when Derek tackles him onto the bed. Derek buries his nose in the crook of Stiles' neck.

            “I _love_ you,” Derek whispers. “Tell _me_ this time.”

            “More than anyone, than anything, I love you. Now shut me up and kiss me, goddammit.”

            “ _How many times do I have to tell you to shut the door?!_ ” Scott shouts as he pulls Stiles' bedroom door closed. They start laughing, promptly forgetting about Scott once their lips meet.

**Author's Note:**

> · **If you're following the series, please drop by[here](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com/talktome) and let me know if you haven't already! I want to make sure I can thank as many people as possible for your support and wonderfulness for following this series. (Especially guests without ao3 accounts - give me a real/fake name and let me add you to my list please!)** If you have sent me a message, it has most likely been answered. If you were anonymous, go[ here](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com/tagged/anonymous) and you should be able to find my answer (trust me, I'm replying to them all - if it's not there yet, it will be - there's been a lot of messages!).  
>  · I posted a SECOND sneak peek of my fic, Just the Same, that will be posted every Monday and Thursday starting June 2nd, 2014. (There are seven parts in total). Go [here](http://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/86068765337/below-the-read-more-you-will-find-a-sneak-peek) to see the first sneak peek and[ here](http://foxerica.tumblr.com/post/86638185582/30-days-of-writing-skipping-todays-fic) for the second. (Also I will so not be offended if you choose not to follow that story. I'm grateful to everyone who's been following this one though!)  
> · [tumblr](http://www.foxerica.tumblr.com)  
> · YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WONDERFUL, AMAZING, AND ADORABLE and I love you all.


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